Habits of Heart and Mind of the Giver
Point Two on the enneagram is the position of “the Giver” or “the Helper“. The fixation for the two is flattery, which comes from their compulsive need to help other people. It is through flattery that they open the door to fulfill what they feel to be their primary role and purpose in life – the pride of knowing that they have helped another person, which is their passion. This pride also causes them to get stuck in a gear of helping people at the expense of awareness of their own feelings and needs, which constantly get repressed. This repression is the primary defense mechanism of the Two. Two’s have spoken of having been raised in an environment where they were adored by one or both parents, and turned to giving as a means to keep the love flowing.This brings us to the basic proposition for the Two: a Two must gain approval, love, and get their personal needs fulfilled through the interaction and efforts of significant others, which gives rise to giving to important others what they want or need. Often, these needs are not even realized by the people the Two serves! The Two gives with the hope that the recipients will give back!
From this overriding attention to giving and helping arises the focus of attention on what significant others want or need. Quite often, these needs manifest as feelings within the Two, and quite a bit of attention is drawn to emotions and feelings. [Read More…]
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Did you find that you have the characteristics of a giver? What personality type do you have? We’d like to hear from you.
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